Another day in Poland, another unexpected masterclass in the wonderfully flexible interpretation of workplace safety.
This time, three workers arrived with a truck-mounted boom lift to carry out work near the top of a five-storey building.
So far, so professional.
The operator climbed into the platform wearing a harness. Excellent! My Health & Safety heart briefly filled with joy.
Then up he went.
Ten metres.
Twelve metres.
Perhaps fifteen metres into the air — roughly 39–49 feet for anyone who prefers their anxiety measured imperially.
And then I noticed one tiny detail.
The harness appeared to be doing a magnificent job of being… worn.
Attached to an anchorage point? – Nope, it’s his coffee…
Well, let’s not become obsessed with technicalities.
Perhaps the lanyard and anchor point had developed a long-distance relationship. They knew the other existed. They simply didn’t feel the need for physical contact.
At ground level, his two colleagues were providing equally impressive support. No obvious helmets. No hi-vis. No visible safety footwear.
But it was summer.
And everyone knows PPE becomes considerably less important once the temperature reaches shorts-and-T-shirt weather.
The work continued. The operator worked from the basket high above the ground while his colleagues wandered below, occasionally looking upwards with the relaxed confidence of men who had clearly decided gravity was somebody else’s department.
Eventually, the job was finished.
Success!
The platform came back down.
Almost.
Because apparently it wouldn’t settle properly into its transport position.
Now, some people might consult the operating manual.
Some might inspect the mechanism.
Some particularly unimaginative individuals might even call someone competent to investigate why a piece of hydraulic access equipment wasn’t behaving as intended.
Not these gentlemen.
They had a better idea.
Add more human.
One of the ground crew climbed up to join his colleague and, from what I observed, the two of them proceeded to bounce/jump on the platform in an effort to persuade it into its locking position.
At this point, I realised I wasn’t witnessing a maintenance problem.
I was witnessing engineering by body weight.
Platform won’t lock?
Jump.
Still won’t lock?
Two men jump.
Manufacturer’s instructions?
Don’t bring negativity into this.
And apparently—it worked.
Another job completed quickly, efficiently and without unnecessary administrative distractions such as PPE, fall protection, troubleshooting procedures or an inconvenient phone call to somebody who might say:
“Please stop doing that immediately.”
The truck drove away.
The building remained standing.
Everyone remained upright.
Therefore, by the most dangerous risk-assessment methodology ever invented:
It must have been safe.
Harness: ✔️
Lanyard attached: Decorative detail.
PPE for ground crew: It’s summer.
Equipment malfunction: Identified.
Corrective action: Two adult men bouncing on it.
Outcome: Nobody died.
Risk assessment review: Apparently unnecessary.
Sometimes safety culture is about procedures, training and competent supervision.
And sometimes it’s simply three men looking at a malfunctioning boom lift and collectively deciding:
“Have we tried jumping on it?”